Weight Limits

Hang in there. Stand strong. Weather the storm. It's always to soon to quit. Put your big girl panties on. Grow the f*** up and deal with it. Suck it up.

We've heard them, we live them..."stand strong" catch phrases. Without epiphany or personal revelation they can be as crushing as an avalanche though. You can't draw strength from thin air..or fat air for that matter. The only source of transmittable strength that I can fathom is love, but it is in such short supply today. Everyone wants to be heard, but almost no one wants to do the work to be felt. How many of us feel alone, isolated, abandoned, mistrusting, and now like it that way.

This is not the way it's suppose to be people. This isn't life...it's more related to living death. Everyone wants to be heard and influence, but you have to pay the price for that kind of trust...with your ears. Listen and open your mind to what that person is sincerely saying and feeling. Until each of us stops believing we know it all, we will never have the kind of trust love can breed in.

Any hack and shove their opinion down someone's throat. It takes maturity and class to be slow to speak, and it never goes unappreciated. 

Midterm Maddness

To tell you the truth, this week didn't get as crazy as it should have...yet! I'm getting nervous by the clam.


Do you have a lot of chaos around you? I do, in some ways, and I'm more comfortable with it now that having order. I'm not doing as well in my classes as I want to...but I'm not in the fetal position crying in my closet either ;-) Really I should count my blessings I suppose.

I can't shake this sense of change... Like the first smell of summer, or the view of leaves changing one day to the next. It's apparent a new season is blowing in (in case you didn't catch it...speaking figuratively). Trouble is, I can't interpret if this is a season to dread or celebrate. I can't see what I am facing...I hate that feeling. My instincts say it's a Spring...an awakening. Let's hope so!

And The Clock Is Ticking

My next test is in t-1 day, 22 hours 49 minutes.... and I am not ready!

I can't even say my mind is all over the place...because its NOT in school! Johnny Cash is singing a song to me on Pandora right now...a song I somehow have never heard, "Matthew 24 (is knocking at the door)". I turned the music on to help me calm down, and maybe even focus...what does it do instead??? It's got me thinking about end times problems...that's it! I'm switching to Matisyahu *changing stations*...Ahhh how about that now Matisyahu is singing "what I'm fighting for", ok well I give up ;-)

I don't live for the music...just like I don't live for the money. I do, however use the beautiful things to ease my mind during the day. Music is one of those beautiful things I can use...when it cooperates! Do you have those days full of anxiety, like when you can't even see what is causing it clearly? It's ironic how it happens like this...I am probably anxious about having this test coming up soon...but the anxiety kills my focus dead! The time to give up is not now though! I pushed 3 babies out of my body...I certainly can push through this!

I don't believe in giving up...maybe not even when you have a great excuse! So blog, so long for now...you served me well today but I have work to do!